I Did the Right Thing

Yesterday was a difficult day.  Paul stayed home from school because he had a stomach ache, Seth was really clingy and Jane was having a difficult time staying asleep.  She was fine as long as I was holding her, but Seth really needed some attention.  I was struggling with wanting to be a mom.  I was trying to keep myself together because I knew that Seth would be scared if I started to cry in front of him. 

In the middle of not wanting to be a mom and just wanting to go to sleep, Jane was hungry and I had to stop everything to feed her.  It was then that I realized that I made the right choice to stop breastfeeding.  Yesterday was difficult for me, but I know that it was made easier by being able to give her a bottle.  Up until that point, I still felt like I should give it a try again because I'm still leaking, but know I know that I made the right decision last week.  Although it was a discouraging day, I am glad to finally feel good about my decision to bottle feed.

As I mentioned earlier, Seth has been really clingy.  He doesn't really want to go play at his friend's house and I'm not too excited about having friends over here right now.  I think that going to Ben's house for 3 nights and then coming home to a new baby has thrown him off.  If he does go and play he only wants to be gone for one hour.  He is getting his security from our house and from being around me or Daniel.  He loves Jane and enjoys being around her, but he really has been needing some extra attention to feel secure.  Luckily he hasn't been acting out in any other way.  He just wants to be near us and involved in what we are doing.  He has been waking up at night (typically around the same time Daniel is up with Jane) so the three of them will sit in Daniel's office and watch a little movie together for 30 minutes or so.  Daniel doesn't mind doing this because he knows that it is helping Seth feel more secure.

A guy that Daniel works with is getting married in October and the company is thinking about having Daniel come out Atlanta to be in charge of the servers while Andy is on his honeymoon.  We talked about having the entire family go out to Georgia and Seth got really worried.  He wanted to know how long we would be gone and if he had to go.  He obsessed over it for several days.  Nothing is set in stone and we need to see how our finances look after paying the hospital bill, so we just told Seth that no one was going to Georgia and that we were all staying here.  He relaxed a lot.  We figure that October is a bit down the road, so he may be more open to the adventure in a few months. 

I am really excited about the prospect of going back to Georgia.  We'll have to see how things play out!