Kleenex

Sometimes I think that I would be wise to purchase stock in Kleenex. Our family has gone through so many boxes of tissues this past week, that I feel that we do our part to keep Kleenex in business.

I really thought that I had miraculously avoided the sick bug, as all of the boys and Daniel were sick and I wasn't. But, just as they are recovering, I am hit. My sinuses hurt and the pressure is so strong I am dizzy. I have been resting a lot, drinking as much water as I can and trying to take it easy.

I don't like dealing with snot problems.

Ray Bell 1922-2009

Today I went to a dear friend's funeral. Ray Bell just turned 87 years young in April. (He said that it was just the past few years that made him feel old.) He was one of my favorite neighbors growing up. I saw him all of the time in church and walking around the neighborhood on nice evenings. I would visit with Ray and his wife, Virginia, occasionally. I always felt welcome in their home and I was always received with hugs and big smiles.

That is one thing that I loved about Ray. His smile. He was a funny guy, always cracking jokes and telling stories. Sometimes I wasn't sure if he was pulling my leg or not with his wild stories. He served in the Navy for 4 years during World War II and in the Air Force during the Korean War. He retired as a Senior Master Sergeant from the Utah Air National Guard in 1977. (I was a baby when he retired!) These experiences gave him plenty of stories to share.

A lot of people considered him to be their grandpa. He was just the kind of guy to fit the bill. But, strange as it may seem, I never saw him as a grandfather figure, I saw him as a friend. In fact, Virginia introduced me to Ray's war buddy as one of Ray's girlfriends! He was young at heart, he was full of wisdom and humor; great qualities to have in a friend.

I dare say that he is the guy that made me love 'cute little old men'. You know the Pixar short film "Geri's Game" the one with the little old man who plays chess? That is the kind of little old man that I love. Ray was like that but he was a fireball, full of energy and laughs. I know that the past few years have been difficult on his health, but I will always remember him as being, oh, how did he phrase himself one time, "One hell of a guy". (He added, "you can even ask Virginia, she'll tell you!")

My sister, Kim, and I went to the viewing together. I saw pictures of Ray when he was younger. He was a handsome little devil! No wonder he was able to convince Virginia to marry him!

One memory I have from my visits to the Bell's home is of their clocks. Ray brought a Coo coo clock home from Germany and they seemed to keep adding clocks to their collection. He had clocks all over his house inspiring me to call him "Father Time". He had a lot of little clocks on the bookshelves and in the curio cabinet. Normally all of the ticking of clocks would drive me batty, but I loved listening to the tick-tock in the background while we visited.

The last time I visited him I was there for about an hour. He gave me a big hug and his infamous smile when I arrived. About half way through our visit he said to me, "I have a question for you and I hope that I don't offend you with it." I was preparing myself for some embarrassing question about marriage or something so I was completely taken back when he asked, "Who are you?"

Virginia, bless her heart, tried to explain who I was and how he knows me, but he drew a blank. We continued visiting for a while, and then it was time for me to go. Ray apologetically shook my hand and told me to come back again because maybe he will remember me next time and then he gave me a hug.

I never did get back to his house to visit before he died. I know that he was in a lot of pain and struggled with his memory. He was a wonderful man who loved other people. I will always remember the love he showed for his sweet "Ginny". So cute together.

I wish that I had stopped by to visit more often to glean more from this wonderful friend. I know for certain, though, that when I see him again, he will know who I am.

The Train Cake

I use to make special themed birthday cakes for the boys. Now that I live by the mantra of "simplify", I no longer spend hours trying to figure out how to make a cake that never turns out the way I envisioned it.




This picture was taken on Mark's 3rd birthday. He was really excited to have a train birthday cake. My friend, Jenny Updike, came over the night before the party and helped me mix the different frosting colors and frost the cakes. I remember it taking us a long time, but we had a good conversation while working.

Mark was so proud of his train cake. And then...



...I cut it into pieces and put in on plates. He was really upset and looked so down hearted. Poor kid. He wanted to keep the train cake, not eat it. I don't remember if he ate any of the cake at all. Kids never seem to eat much cake, that is one reason why I quit making elaborate cakes.

Pizza Pizza

I finally had a decent pizza tonight!

I have been eating a restricted diet since November of last year. I don't eat gluten (wheat), casein (milk) and I have limited my sugars. I feel a lot better while following this diet. I have 'cheated' many times and I pay for it.

My family has been eating pizza for dinner on Friday nights for about 5 years now. I have really struggled with what I should eat for dinner on pizza nights. I have tried to make my own gluten free pizza dough. I have tried gluten free pizza mixes. They have all tasted terrible. Most of the recipes call for eggs and it makes a very rubbery dough or batter. Yuck.

Well, tonight I tried a frozen pizza crust from Kinninnick. It was delicious! I bought the crust a few weeks ago, but I kept forgetting to thaw it in time for dinner. I remembered tonight and I am so glad that I did! It isn't the same as my grilled pizza, but it is the closest I have found!

I thought that pizza without cheese was impossible, but I really don't even miss it! I put spaghetti sauce, spinach and spicy sausage on the pizza and baked it until hot. Then I topped it with guacamole. MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Yummy! I thought about taking a picture of it, but I really didn't want to take a break from my pizza fest! Besides, I got really strange looks from my family when I took a picture of the bread that I made the other day. I haven't had a sandwich for a long time, so I was excited that I finally made a bread that worked for me!

This diet is difficult to maintain, but I feel blessed to find new foods to eat all of the time. I really need to become more adventurous in the kitchen!

A Love/Hate Relationship

As a newly opened bottle of superglue oozed out from the tip I remembered how much I dislike superglue because of it's ability to stick to everything but the one thing you are trying to glue. I remembered this ability to stick as I was using my fingers to catch the excess ooze. Doh! I hate superglue, except for when it really does work and it saves the day. I guess that because of the way I use it, I just don't like the 'side effects'.

I seem to have this same love/hate relationship with bleach. I love how clean and white it gets my dish rags. I love how it keeps our swimming pool clean. I love how it gets stains off of the counter top and floor. But I really hate the bleach splatters on my shirts and the woozy feeling I get from the smell of the bleach.

I think that I have this same type of relationship with motherhood. I sometimes envy those who don't have kids because they can be selfish with their time without feeling guilty. I mean, I never thought that I would feel guilty for shutting the door to use the bathroom until I had kids. I hate dealing with the whining and the fighting. I hate the question "Why?" I hate piles of laundry, piles of toys and piles of dishes. I hate poopy underwear and urine sprayed toilets. I hate not being able to sleep in. I hate being the only one who knows where things are. I hate being the mean, yelling mom that I am sometimes.

But, I love all of the other 'side effects' of being a mother. I love hugs and kisses and cuddles. I love the laughter of my children. I love the silly jokes that don't make sence. I love the I love you's. I love seeing my kids accomplish new things. I love being depended on. I love notes with hearts drawn all over them. I love their innocense. I love Mark. I love Paul. I love Seth. I love being a mom.

I started writing this post to tell about the two things I loved and hated at the same time, but as I was writing, I realized that my life is full of things that I don't love all of the time. I really struggle with my diet restrictions. (No gluten, no dairy, limited sugars) I love how much better I feel when I follow the diet, but I don't like how difficult it can be living with wheat and milk eaters or how limited my choices are when I eat out.

Overall, though, I'd have to say that life is good, so I love my life!

Happy Birthday Mark!

Mark turned 9 years old today. I am still a bit shocked that he is 9. The past few months I have really struggled getting along with him. Last week I decided to genuinely complement him at least one time a day. I have done well with this challenge and it has helped me to look for the positive instead of nagging him about what is bugging me. This really has helped my relationship with him. I am grateful for the improved relationship and I have been having a lot more fun being Mark's mom!

After school today we went and picked up Mieren and Alys (Mark's cousins) and they went to Mulligans for a round of miniature golf. Dinner was at Arctic Circle. Instead of a birthday cake, Mark wanted a birthday shake from Arctic Circle. Easy enough for me! Unfortunately I was feeling really tired, so I stayed home and Super Dad took the kids.

Wanted: Green Thumb

I do not have a green thumb. I can't seem to keep anything alive. Well, I have been able to keep the succulents alive that we bought two years ago, but really how much attention does a cactus need?

The fact that I do not have a green thumb is revisited every Mother's Day. I seem to get one type of plant or another and I always kill it off before the month is through.

Seth gave me some potted flowers from preschool. They don't look so pretty anymore.

Paul planted seeds at school and brought home a plant that seemed ready to flower. I don't think that I will ever see the flowers. I feel badly that the flowers are dying/dead.

Mark gave me some bath salts that he made at school. I don't use scented items, but I thanked him profusely and told him that I had just ran out of bath salts. I discretely threw them out after displaying them in my bathroom for him to see.

I can't just throw out the pretty flowers because they are supposed to be around for a while.

I guess that I'm just not a delicate flower kind of mom. I am a succulent kind of mom. Thank goodness I know where to find flowering cacti.

Sound Off

I have a few grievances that I need to articulate so here they are:

Keys
I really don't like that the school office requires me to give them my car keys in exchange for the 'security' card. It makes me so upset that they don't trust the people coming in to help. Last year I was really irritated with it, so I tried talking with the secretary about it. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I'd like to volunteer in my son's class, but I don't feel comfortable giving you my car keys.
Secretary: You can give me your sunglasses.
Me: So you don't care what it is, just as long as I give you something?
Secretary: That is right
Me: I will turn in my word of honor that this card will be returned.
Secretary: (feeling defeated) okay

The next week, she asked me for my car keys again. I started giving a set of dummy keys. I have to pass the office to get to my car, I won't forget to turn in the card. I've just resorted to breaking the rules and I don't check in at all anymore.

Sound Levels
I wish that I could program my television to stay at a certain sound level. I don't get it why the dialog of a movie is quiet, requiring me to turn up the volume, but then something happens or music starts playing and the volume is too loud. I am constantly adjusting the volume and it drives me crazy!


My Name isn't Sharon (share-un), it is Sherron (sure-ron)
I have struggled with my name my entire life. Don't get me wrong, I like my name. But I don't like having to spell my name whenever people need to write it down. Thankfully I have a last name that now doubles for a first, so I just use Taylor when I am at a restaurant.

My boys don't even know how to spell my name! My nieces were over here and Alys was drawing a picture of me. She wrote Shaaron and Mark told her that it was Sharron. Paul wrote a little note on a mother's day card and spelt my name Sharon.

The nice thing about my name is that I can tell if someone knows me or not when they call on the phone. If they ask for Sharon, I can tell them that she doesn't live here. Unless it is the Dr. office calling to remind me of an appointment or something of that nature (thank goodness for caller ID!) That is when I answer to 'Sharon'. Hearing myself say "This is Sharon" is weird and irritating, but not as irritating as having to correct the person. If I won't be dealing with them again, I will answer to Sharon.

I need to teach my boys that sometimes people will call me Sharon and they need to understand that they are referring to me. I remember my little brother telling a prospective employer that a Sharon doesn't live here. He was really confused when I got upset with him for not giving me the phone.

A few years ago I realized that when I tell people that my dad's name is Ron, they tend to remember how to say my name. Why didn't I think of that sooner?

Aim
Will boys ever figure out how to aim into the toilet? I am so sick of the smell of urine drying on the toilet, floor, wall boards, garbage can and anything else in the vicinity of the toilet. Yuck! Ewwww! Is it really that difficult? I understand that it is nearly impossible for a girl to have acurate aim (which is why we sit), but if you external plumbing, I can see no reason to have a bit more control.

While attending BYU I worked on campus as a custodian. I cleaned the bathrooms in the Smith Family Living Center. I guess that boys will never learn to aim. The men's bathrooms were terrible. The urinals were gross. I mean come on, urinals are not far away, the aim doesn't have to be spot on. Good grief, do we need to put aiming Cheerios in the urinals as well as the toilets? This job only lasted a month or so. I couldn't handle the fun of cleaning urine at 5:30 in the morning.

I quit a few weeks before they used the hose and sprayed down the entire bathroom. They do that two times a year and I think that it needs it more often. If only I could scrub down my bathrooms that way.

I saw a sign years ago that said "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie". I would put that up in our bathrooms, but I really think that the boys are oblivious to the fact that they are missing the target. I don't know.

No More TV

Last month Daniel and I decided to cancel our cable TV subscription. We had considered cancelling it a few months ago, but it was going to cost us more money per month because of our bundle deal. That deal expired in March, so we got rid of it then.

I use to be a TV junkie. I would watch HGTV a lot. I would record and watch my favorite shows after the boys went to bed. I was really anxious to see the next installment of Dancing with the Stars, The Biggest Loser, Survivor, Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters. The only reason I decided to get rid of TV was because I can watch all of 'my' shows online.

Since we got rid of the TV line I have only watched my shows on the computer one time. I realized that it wasn't worth my time to look them up and watch them. I don't miss them at all. I have been reading more books and working on my scrap booking. We don't even have basic television, so if I watch anything at all it is a movie. I have been going to bed a lot earlier than I use to because I don't get sucked in watching another show.

The boys were really good about getting rid of cable. That really surprised me because part of the reason we got rid of it was because they were watching a lot of TV. A lot of times I would have to have them turn off the show they were watching because the shows were really obnoxious. They now watch a few movies here and there, but overall they haven't been lamenting over not having cable.

Overall this has been a great experience for our family.

Top Ten

I had a wonderful day with Paul yesterday! He got out of school early because of testing, so I thought that I would take the two hours before Mark got home and do something with Paul. I wasn't sure what to do with him until I went through the stack of papers that he cleaned out of his backpack that morning. He had a paper titled "Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mom". This is what he wrote.

10. I love my Mom because she reads me science books.
9. I love my Mom because she helps me make dinner.
8. I love my Mom when she makes me laugh by tickling me.
7. I love my Mom because she taught me how to make pancakes.
6. I love to hear my Mom sing Jingle Bells.
5. I love my Mom because she finds time to go to fun places.
4. I know my Mom cares because she loves me.
3. I know my Mom is smart because she knows how to knit.
2. I love my Mom because she works so hard at taking care of me.
1. I love my Mom because she's the best mom I ever had.
Happy Mother's Day!

After reading number 3, I decided that I would teach him how to knit, because he has been asking me to teach him. I taught myself how to use the round looms to knit a month or so ago and he has been fascinated with it.

I found some colorful yarn that I knew he would love and when he got home, we knitted together! I told him that the first rule of knitting is to get comfortable. After a while, he said that he knew what the real first rule was and that I skipped it. I have now changed my knitting rules for Paul. The new first rule is turn on some music. Second rule is to get comfortable!

Paul caught on very quickly to using the loom. He is making a hat and he is doing a great job! Using a loom to knit is really easy, but he said that he was surprised that he was doing so well so quickly. He looked at me and said, "Mom, you must, like, be the best knitting teacher in the world or something!" What a sweetheart! I will post a picture of his hat when he completes it.

I had a blast sitting on the couch with him and talking while knitting. When I am able to spend one-on-one time with Paul, we have some of the most amazing conversations! This was definately a Top Ten memory with Paul!

Exhausted

2004 Mark age 4 on the left, Paul age 3 on the right.

I don't remember where we went or what we did, but whatever it was, the boys were exhausted! I was pregnant with Seth at the time, so I made them get out of the van and walk into the house by themselves. They were so tired that they collapsed onto the couch without even climbing all of the way on! I took this picture and then made a little bed for each of them on the floor. I didn't put them on the couch because I had to clean the couch cushion where Mark was sleeping!

When I look at this picture I can feel their exhaustion!

The Cutting Edge

Or more appropriately titled: cutting the edge of the lawn

I was sick of the way the yard looked next door (it is vacant) so I took our lawn mower over and started hacking down the weeds. I had just started when Jane, my neighbor, said that if I cut the perimeter, she would bring her riding lawn mower over and do the rest. Thank you Jane! Wow! That was so nice! Having 1/3 acre lots means having too much lawn to mow. I am seriously considering looking into a riding lawn mower because I think that Daniel will be more likely to get the mowing done (and they boys will vie for opportunities to use it, too!)

I haven’t used a lawnmower for a while, and my wrists are not loving me for using one. I think that I really messed something up. God bless Jane for mowing the rest because I don’t think that I would be able to type if I had finished the front yard. It is sore to type, but not painful.

Today someone came to look at the house next door. Her name is Erin. She has two kids ages 5 and 2. She is very interested in the house. We talked for a while outside. Her little girl needed to use the bathroom, and since the water is turned off at the house for sale, they came over to my house. My house wasn’t filthy, but it wasn’t tidy. I just wasn’t expecting company, so the house showed it. I was embarrassed, but I guess that she got a real taste of who she would be living next to!

I’ve been working on my digital scrap booking this week. I took a long break and I am enjoying getting back into it. I plan to get caught up with the boy’s pictures and give them their books for Christmas. Wish me luck!

Changes

I don't handle changes very well. I guess that I handle them better than I think, because we have moved a lot over the past 10 years and I've adapted quite well. But changes to things from my childhood have really been bothering me lately.

On Saturday I went to the Murray Community Dance Recital to see my niece, Karly, perform. First thing that started me on the 'changes are bugging me' is the high school where the recital was held. It was at my old high school, Murray High. But it isn't my old high school because it has changed so much. I entered on the North side, where the old parking lot use to be, but I forgot that the main parking lot is now on the South side of the school. I thought about parking in my 'old spot' and walking in the doors that I walked through every morning at 6:00 a.m. to the dance studio, but I honestly don't know if I would be able to find the new auditorium from there. I don't even know if the dance studio is still there. I was lost in a place that I use to know so well.

I drove around to the new parking lot and followed the crowd because I figured that they knew where they were going. I have been to the high school since the remodel, but I haven't been to a real event there. I found my seat and got ready for the show to start. I saw a girl that I went to high school with, sitting in front of me. Her daughter was in the show. I found myself thinking that I don't remember this friend being so pretty. Not that she was ugly 15 years ago, but she just looked amazing. Not a bad change.

The costumes got me thinking about how things have changed. I haven't looked at my dance pictures yet, but I'm pretty sure that all of my costumes had sleeves until I was around 10 or 11. The little 4 year old girls were wearing sleeveless costumes. They were cute, but could have been adorable with the addition of sleeves. I know that I wore some questionable costumes throughout my dancing days, but not when I was a little girl. This change was not good.

After the recital I went to find my niece to tell her what an awesome job she did. I passed an old neighbor in the hallway. I said hello and I don't think that she recognized me because her response was very genericand impersonal. It kind of bothered me. The meeting was short and uncomfortable. I had to realize that my hair is long now and I have lost 25 pounds since I last saw her and that she might not know that I am back from Georgia, but it was kind of a blow to my self esteem at first. I left the school and decided to drive to a fabric shop that is nearby. The parking lot was full, so I drove down the street and turned into a nearby parking lot to turn around. That was a bad idea.

This parking lot is where my old church house use to be. It was a beautiful two story building that was built in the early 1900's. It was called the Grant building because the current church prophet, Heber J. Grant, dedicated it. This building is where Daniel and I held our wedding reception. Our reception was one of the last big events to be held in that building before they tore it down to put in a parking lot for the nearby park and Senior Citizen Center.

I instantly starting thinking of all of the memories I have that happened in that old building. I thought of things like helping some of the older women up the huge staircase before they put in the elevator, attending Primary in the basement room, swinging from the exposed pipes running along the ceiling while wearing a dress and giving Vicky Paul a heart attack, Mark Ogden's surprise 16th birthday party where we played sardines, Halloween parties with spook alleys and pumpkin carving contests, playing a solo piano piece titled "How Great Thou Art" and being so nervous and then so emotionally overtaken by the piece that I went out into the hallway and cried after the song was over, (I'm crying right now just thinking of it). I remember learning how to drive in the parking lot, playing on the lawn in the front of the church,the Daddy Daughter Dance, and playing broom hockey in the cultural hall.
I remembered Grandpa Burton. He wasn't my real grandfather, but everyone called him Grandpa. I had adopted him and even though he had a lot of real grandchildren, he adoped me. I always really looked up to him. I would ask him how he was doing and he would always answer "The best that I know how." That phrase has always stuck with me. He was such a sweet man. He was in his 90's when he died, but he was always young at heart.

For some reason I felt angry that so many things had changed. I realize that my memories are mine to keep, but I just felt like a lot of the physical evidence of my memories are being erased.

I decided to go home, so I headed down State Street and passed by Fashion Place Mall. I don't even recognize that mall anymore. That use to be MY mall, I knew where all of the stores were and I now I don't know what is there. I drove past the shopping center where there use to be a car lot, a bar, a fast food restaurant and a little duplex. I'm not too sad to see the used car lot and the bar leave, but it all just looks so different! I turned onto 6400 South and remembered when all of the new houses and the 'replacement' church went up in the field behind said car lot. (The beautiful friend that I saw at the school lives in that neighborhood). I didn't go down my parent's street, but decided to go home. I was tired.
Pretty soon the area around the Trax station will be completely different, too. I don't do well with these changes, sometimes. I understand that progress is necessary. I understand that a world without change is not good, but I wish that it wouldn't play with my memories the way that it has. I start to feel lost in the world when I feel that I should know exactly where I am.

Strike a Pose

I fear that I will be embarrassing myself and others by posting these pictures, but I think that the fun memories that accompany them will be worth it.




1993 Erin Carnahan and Sherron posing as our Avon representative. Erin and I walked around the neighborhood to our friend’s houses and when they answered the door we could say “Avon Calling”. We raided the back of my mom’s closet and her old clothes in the attic for these beautiful outfits. Unfortunately, the glasses that I wore were actually my real glasses, but they weren’t my current pair. I went from these big brown ones to the big wire frames. Wow! I am a beauty!



We later changed the name of this activity to Nerd Vogue-ing. I’ve never had to spell it out, so I’m not exactly sure how one would spell ‘vogue-ing’. This picture is of a group of the kids in the neighborhood.(L to R) Emily and Libby Remington, Ryan Empey, Sherron, Liz Grover and Denise Willes (my sister). 1994



Once again we were at it, this time with (L to R) Sherron, Libby, Emily, Debbie Willes (my sister) Kara Kresser (my cousin) and Denise Willes (my sister). It was a lot of fun to play dress up and run around with very few cares as to what people thought of us. We even went out to eat like this! I am a bit more reserved now! (But Marianne, I am almost serious about wearing the coconut bra to the next Enrichment Night!) LOL!

Sing a Song

Our family has a habit of singing well known songs with made up lyrics. Sometimes the tune is made up as well. Daniel’s favorite songs to change lyrics to are Primary songs. I had to make him stop when I realized that the boys were singing their dad’s version at church. Since I was the song leader, I had to make them stop.
A while back we went shopping and Paul wanted to try boxer-briefs instead of his tighty whitey ensemble. Seth wanted some after he saw Paul’s cool undies, so he got some. The other day I was walking down the hallway and I could hear Seth singing a song. It sounded a bit like “The Candy Man” from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The lyrics, however, were quite different. He was singing “The Boxer-Brief Man”. Those were the only lyrics so he repeated the term over and over. Now I have the silly term stuck in my head. I’ve even called Seth Boxer Brief Man and he responded. It’s a good thing that they don’t sing The Candy Man at church!

Eyelashes

Seth has gorgeous eyelashes. It is surprising that his eyelashes are so dark because his hair is so light. Today I went swimming with my boys and two of my nieces, Mieren and Alys. We had a wonderful time. I am exhausted, but it was worth the time together. I have always loved looking at my boy’s eyelashes when they get wet, they kind of clump together and are beautiful. Today Seth’s lashes clumped into four sections. The clumps were so big that they reminded me of Tammy Faye Baker. It kind of made me giggle.